So....to explain my title. First, the random ramblings is probably the most accurate part of the title :) I do ramble a bit and I am random. I think the randomness is due to my ADHD but I also think it allows me to view the world from a different and completely creative standpoint so it doesn't bother me :) I'm sorry that others can't always keep up though :) The running part...not as accurate. I should say that I'm not really a runner but I am training for a 5K kind of by accident so that's where the somewhat reluctant runner part comes in :) I had a friend that was going to be starting a program and I wanted to work out with someone so I was more likely to continue to do it and decided to join her. She's the one that actually came up with training for the 5K and I just went along for the ride figuring it couldn't hurt, and I don't mean hurt as in physically hurt because it has done that :) I meant I didn't think it could hurt my chances at attempting to live a healthier life since I'm 31 and apperantly not getting any younger. I have finally figured out after 31 years that I am NOT nor will I ever be one of those people that can eat whatever they want and not gain a pound so I figure the running will help with those efforts as well :)
So...the interesting part to me is that I have discovered some very interesting parellels between running and life. Early mornings and running seem to be a time to reflect on life for me. This morning when we were running I was thinking about how hard it was and how it would just be so much easier to walk and forget the whole thing. Especially when I started thinking about how much harder it will be next week and the week after and the week after. I don't know when I'll hit the point where it's easy or if I'll ever hit the point where I really enjoy it but for a few brief minutes when I close my eyes, listen to my music and fill the wind/ humid air on my face I can kind of imagine why people like it. Maybe it's a sense of accomplishment and freedom. Maybe it's the silence. Maybe it's the ability to push beyond what you think you can do and acheive something you weren't sure was possible. Maybe it's looking up at the sky as the day turns from dark to light and seeing God's amazing handy work first thing. Maybe it's pushing through the pain of the blisters on my feet knowing that eventually it won't hurt as bad even if I have to go through a little pain for awhile. I don't know, but I imagine and hope that at some point it will be something I want to do and not simply something I think is a good idea or that I force myself to do.
As I've been doing this training the last couple weeks the scripture in Hebrews 12 where it says: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses , let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider Him who endured such oppostition from sinful man, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." The part that keeps running through my head is, let us run with endurance fixing our eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfector of our faith. It's a good reminder for life to. Sometimes I think I'm a reluctant traveler through life. I don't like where I'm at or what I'm doing. I'm frustraited by some hardship or trail. I'm tired and weary and want to give up and sit down and watch from the sidelines for awhile. Sometimes I just want to forget it all and walk away from the demands and the craziness and live in a cabin somewhere with a beautiful front porch swing and listen to the birds sing all day. Just like continuing to train for this 5K is a choice, how I live my life is a choice. I can chose to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and press on or I can choose to sit it out because it's to hard. In the end though I'll have missed out on some amazing experiences if I choose the second option. I don't know if running will ever be fun or easy. I don't know if I'll ever like waking up early in the morning to go do it.....and I don't know about life either. I don't know if it will ever be easy and I don't know if we ever get to a point of contentment where we are grateful for each and every experience, but I do know who I'm running with. My friend gives me strength to keep pushing on when I want to give up, I trust her and know that if something happens to me she will do whatever it takes to get help, so I can run knowing that I'm in good hands. That's even more of a truth when I think about life. Jesus is with me as my running partner, he is there encouraging me to continue on, to finish strong.
So....when I'm running and I can see the finish line in sight and the phrase "finish strong" keeps running through my head and I'm pushing past the pain and running for all I'm worth....I know I'm going to make it. When this life gets a bit to overwhelming or my days are a little to hectic and crazy....I just have to remember the same thing...."finish strong" and realize that it's all worth and one day when I'm standing before God I can say that I finished strong and pushed on and I'll get to hear Him say, " Well done" and it will all be worth it.
So I guess....while I'm a somewhat reluctant runner that's not the point...the point is still that I'm a runner....and who knows....maybe that's enough to keep me pushing on for now.
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